So I was reflecting on all of the things that I’ve learned last year and I think that the most impactful has been self-compassion. I would define it as being kind to yourself when you feel like you failed or have been hard on yourself. The easiest way to think of self compassion is to treat yourself the same way that you would treat your closest friend.
Part of self-compassion is recognizing that there are other people around us who are also having their own struggles, even though it does not feel like it sometimes. In the current age of the internet and social media, it is easy to assume that everything is person in everyone else’s life. Although everything seems fine on the surface, they could really be struggling on the inside. We know that social media isn’t a full representation of someone’s life but we often don’t stop to think about it and assume that that is a reflection of their whole lives. Connectedness reminds you that there are a whole world of people and at least one of them is going through the same thing. It’s realizing that we are all connected by the experiences we have in difficult times. Keeping connectedness in mind, we do not pass harsh judgment of ourselves or others. We do this by also practicing mindfulness and self-kindness.
Self-kindness allows us accept and acknowledge our thoughts and feelings while also recognizing that it is not all about us. Instead of being unkind to ourselves when we are having a hard time, we empathize and acknowledge what we are feeling. Mindfulness allows us to do so without becoming overwhelmed by our thoughts and feelings.
Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment. So, in this moment, we acknowledge that we have failed, that we are hurt or frustrated or upset about failing, and accept that we are not perfect. And that’s okay. In this moment we also realize that we are not the only people in the world who are going through this experience and is not only happening to us. We do not compare or make judgments, but simply acknowledge and accept this fact as a part of being human, which is something that we all share.We are mindful of our thoughts and feelings but we do not allow them to overwhelm us. We are simply aware. So as we continue forward into 2020, I challenge you practice self-kindness by being more kind and understanding to yourself.
For more on self-compassion visit this website: https://self-compassion.org/