Do I Look Sick Enough Now?

Photo by Jhonis Martins from Pexels

I am afraid to laugh. You’re not supposed to be happy when you’re sick. You’re not supposed to have fun. You may only suffer in silence and solitude. Smile gorgeous. Sick people don’t laugh. If you’re well enough to laugh then you’re well enough to go to school right? If you’re well enough to smile then you can do assignments and go to class. Right? Sick people can’t go out. If you’re not absolutely miserable then there is no reason why you should sit here and doing nothing. Right? If you don’t “look sick” then you’re not sick, right? Meanwhile I secretly admire the bags under my eyes, they can finally see it. “I hope this shows that I really am telling the truth.” I secretly savor the strain in my voice. “Can they see it showing in my face now?” I secretly thank the slight limp of my leg. “I hope this is proof enough”. Then I’m ashamed for feeling like I’m sick enough.

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