Blackness,  poetry,  Writings

2 Be Connected, 2 Be Disconnected

It’s really scary for me to share these feelings, I don’t want to hurt anyone or turn people away. I’m always so afraid of what other people will think or do. So here I am doing it anyways.

2 Be Connected, 2 Be Disconnected

Blackness 2 me is connection and disconnection
Not black enough, but also too black

Yes, both of my parents are black
No, I am not mixed with anything else

Too ‘other’.

Sometimes it feels like I am appropriating because I have lighter skin
Because I do not have it as hard as other black women
So why should I be the one representing their blackness?
It doesn’t make sense

I don’t want to dismiss the experiences of other black women
Because I realize that I too benefit from some privilege

As a result of colorism
I am perceived as ‘less threatening’
I am perceived as ‘prettier’
And I don’t want that
It feels wrong to even type those words

I am stuck because
I am still seen as a black woman in society to my white counterparts

Yet I hang onto my black identity tightly.
There is a sense of belonging and community not found anywhere else
An everlasting, enduring connection
From experiences shared by our ancestors
But also by us

Blackness 2 me feels like connection.
Connected to so many people by this social construct meant to harm us
Instead bringing feelings of warmth and safety

It feels like Frankie Beverly and Maze
Aunts and Uncles dancing to Square Biz at family get togethers
It’s that feelin that you get
When you hear Bill Withers sing
When you see black art
Kehinde Wiley, Hank Willis Thomas, and Ernie Barnes

It feels like cookouts on Saturdays
And grandma fixin dinner on Sunday
Children laughin and playin
The contagious laughter of aunties and uncles and cousins

Blackness 2 me feels like connection.


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